Someone Worth Fighting For
by Shadowfox026
Summary: Kagami is in hospital with Konata staying faithfully by her side. Through a gradual realisation of the past day's events, Konata realises how much her best friend means to her. But will Kagami ever wake up? Rated T for violence and some themes.
1. Safely in my Hands

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or rights to Lucky Star. This fanfic is simply for entertainment purposes.

* * *

My hand gently runs over Kagami's own beautiful hand. It is small and delicate and I hesitate in fear of hurting her. I circle her palm and turn her hand over. Her pale, thin fingers rest on the edge of the bed. I am not normally so gentle with her, but I don't know how to act anymore. I'm in absolute shock.

I stare at her lifeless form as it lies before me. Her head is tilted to the side, her eyes shut in an expression that hints at pain. The sheets are spread uncomfortably around her to make room for her various bandages. Purple hair is spread across the bed, some clinging to her face but most of it falling just over her arm.

"Kagami," I whisper. She can't hear me, but it is calming to speak my mind. My heart aches to see her this way. I want to help her, I want to make everything okay, but I can't do anything useful. All I can do is sit by her side and hope that she will be okay.

Sounds of car wheels screeching echo through my mind. I see a blur of blue and purple before my eyes. A hand - possibly Kagami's - pushes me out of the way. Someone jumps in the way, where I once was, to protect me. A scream escapes my mouth. The sound, the sight, the horror of the scene melts into one nightmare. I can't escape it. I begin to quiver as I return to the reality of the hospital room.

I grip Kagami's hand to steady my own. It's soft and smooth, untainted by household chores. My hands are more childlike, with rougher skin as a result of constantly playing video games. Kagami moves slightly in her sleep. I freeze. _Wake up...Kagami...please wake up..._ but Kagami resumes her motionless state. Her face clouded with pain and fine beads of sweat.

I don't usually bargain. I don't usually beg. Today, however, I promise to give everything up just to see Kagami live. I am desperate. She's my best friend. I love her.

The thought returns again and lingers with a new emphasis. _I love her..._ I glance again at the bed. Kagami's fine figure does not take up much space yet she still radiates beauty. I drift back to what I wanted to tell her before the accident. Tears well in my eyes as I fight the urge to cry. I lay my head beside hers as I try to keep calm. Kagami's gentle but shallow breaths touch my cheek as I turn to face her. I never noticed how long her eyelashes were or how soft her face was.

She sacrificed herself for me...but why?

I reach over to stroke her long hair. 'Kagami, please, _please_ be alright.' In my confusion and sorrow, I kiss her gently. I press my lips into hers, and softly melt into her warmth. There is a slight sense of excitement, but it does not replace my concern for her.

I pull away as I hear frantic footsteps approach the room.


	2. Horror in Akiba

Caution! This story contains trace elements of Yuri.

* * *

The hurried footsteps grew louder as a soft voice yelled out into the hospital corridor. "Onee-chan!"

The voice became more desperate as Tsukasa neared the room which held her twin sister. It sounded like Tsukasa was so frantic to find her sister that she didn't check with the reception desk and made her way into the hospital on her own – peering into each and every room to find Kagami.

"T-Tsukasa," I tried to call out. My voice was barely audible through my grief. I had not yet shed a tear in the hospital, but during the ambulance ride I was distraught. I cried at the sight of Kagami unconscious on a tiny stretcher in the back of the vehicle. My grief was so immense, I felt that tears could barely begin to express it. I screamed for the medics to get away from her; to stop covering Kagami with hideous, ghastly bandages. They threatened to throw me out of the ambulance if I didn't stop disrupting them. The threat of being torn away from my best friend calmed me, but only slightly. I was forced away from her as the medics applied more bandages. Binding her, suffocating her. It was only then that I saw the blood on the floor. Deep red mixing with white...

"Ka...

ga...

mi..."

"Konata," whispered a voice at the door. "Onee-chan!" A purple blur passed my vision as I was brought back to reality. Tsukasa knelt roughly beside the bed, opposite to me. In her haste to be there for Kagami, she landed painfully on her knees. Tsukasa remained unphased by her actions. She held Kagami's other hand and looked into her closed eyes. Tears began to fall as she surveyed the damage.

"I...I felt it," she whispered through sobs after a long silence. "Before you called me, I felt what happened. It was...too much...I almost died inside, realising that Kagami was in worse pain..."

I didn't doubt Tsukasa's words. It was true that she and Kagami shared an unspoken bond; a 'telepathy' I joked at one point. Yet, I had felt something as well. I saw the whole incident in front of me. Even seeing it caused me pain...but, I felt the impact as well.

It was supposed to be me who was hit. I was the careless one. I didn't look. It all happened in the split second that I was distracted.

Tsukasa shifted in her position on the floor. I realised the situation and moved to get a chair for her. She thanked me in a quiet voice. It sounded like Tsukasa was lost. She had immersed herself in grief over her sister.

"W-What happened?" she stammered. Tsukasa's innocent purple eyes shone with tears. She looked at me imploringly. It was in that moment that I saw she was truly lost. I was compelled to take a supportive role. I suspended my own agony and knelt beside Tsukasa, reaching an arm around her in comfort. Tsukasa reacted like she usually did with Kagami, resting her head on my arm, seeking protection from the world.

"It was very fast," I replied, desperately trying to form a version of events that wasn't too horrifying. "We were crossing the road when a car suddenly appeared. We barely had any time to react. But Kagami was quick. I was in the direct path of the car when she pushed me out of the way. Then..." Tsukasa griped my shirt. She sobbed quietly. I decided to end my story there. It was too much for her to take in. It was bad enough that she heard about the accident second-hand. I could almost imagine the incredible guilt she must have felt for not being by her sister's side when everything happened.

Kagami and I had been walking in the afternoon sunshine. It was a rare moment where we were without anyone from our usual group. Miyuki and Tsukasa had arranged to do something else that afternoon and Kagami and I decided to branch off to spend some time together. I was strangely happy to just be with Kagami as we walked towards the train station from Akihabara.

"I didn't think you'd come with me to Akiba again! You must have missed me," I teased as we walked. Kagami smiled.

"Not everything is about you. Anyway, I heard there was a new Full Metal book out today."

A light breeze rustled the leaves of the nearby trees and tossed Kagami's long hair. For a moment, as I looked back at her, she was captivating. Her silky purple hair was thrown behind and her jacket fluttered in the breeze; Kagami was the image of beauty. I must have had a strange expression on my face as Kagami interrupted my dreamlike state.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

I shook myself out of my momentary lapse in manner. Kagami was my friend, she wouldn't want to be anything...more. I assumed that I had been playing too much eroge and quickly recovered from my daze. Standing aside from my usual quip, I turned the conversation into something more serious.

"It's been so long since school has ended and we've seen everyone."

"I suppose our year group have all left for holidays or moved to go to university."

"I'm surprised that we haven't seen more of each other. Since we live so close." I missed seeing Kagami, Tsukasa, Miyuki, Misao, Patti...Calling people was just not the same as being with them. In the months following our graduation from high school, I longed to see Kagami again. I missed her laugh, her tsundere personality, her deep blue eyes, her gentle touch...

_Her what...?_

"Yeah, everyone's been busy," said Kagami, bringing me back from my fantasy yet again. "But I'm glad...to see you again..."

"Kagamin," I said quietly. She turned to face me. "Your _deredere_ side is showing."

Normally I would have received a smack over the head or just a quick retort, but even Kagami was different today. The sun began to set behind the buildings of Akihabara as we stopped to cross a small, almost deserted road.

"I missed you, Konata." I looked back at Kagami standing on the sidewalk. Her mouth hinted at a smile. It was sincere.

"Kagami, I -"

A horn sounded to my left as tyres screeched to hold on to the asphalt. Kagami's faint smile disappeared. She ran towards me. Time seemed to slow to an agonising pace. Each action was drawn out, prolonged, so that each minute detail could be taken in and the full horror of the situation realised. A hand griped my own and drove me from the road towards the sidewalk. Purple hair invaded my sight as Kagami dove into action. The car was still screaming...or was that me? I twisted to see my best friend take my previous position. She tried to escape it as well, but was not as fast as she was getting me out of it.

The car edged closer and Kagami showed absolute panic. Time began to shift into is usual position as Kagami gave one last look at me. Her deep blue eyes filled with terror, reflected in my own. Her hand was still grasping mine.

The instant the car slammed into Kagami, the event merged into one rapid moment. Silver. Purple. Silver. Red. I felt something warm spray onto my face and saw the road turn darker. The car had stopped a few metres ahead of a mass of purple. "Kagami!" I dropped onto my hands and knees. The ground was strangely slippery, but I didn't realise why it was. Her eyes were closed, her head in an unusual position, her arms and legs almost unnatural. I reached to hold Kagami's hand. She was already becoming cold. I could feel heat seeping from her.

"Stay with me, Kagami," I cried. Her hand moved slightly and her thumb caressed my knuckles before relaxing completely. It was a silent signal of her willingness to fight.

Sirens invaded the quiet street but did not replace the screaming of tyres and metal slamming in my mind. An ambulance was on its way to rescue Kagami. She laid so delicately before me, I was torn that they had to disturb her.

The sirens halted and medics rushed to surround my lifeless friend. "No!" I screamed. "Don't take me away from her!" I was hysterical, I was desperate, I viciously clawed at every person who tried to remove me from the scene. I had a thought that if they took me away from Kagami, I might never see her again. My short stature must have made the medics eventually think I was some sort of younger sister. I was allowed to ride in the ambulance beside my best friend.

I watched helplessly as Kagami was put onto a stretcher and placed into the van. I was helped aboard, too.

My hand left a streak of Kagami's blood on the side of the ambulance as I climbed in.


	3. Through My Eyes

Author: It is strange that this is the result of my procrastination from studying for very important exams. I suppose it is good to exercise my writing once in a while. I'm glad that my somewhat melancholic story has been received well so far.

* * *

A sharp pain was in my side. Slicing...tearing... I screamed in agony but could not hear my own voice. I cried out for help after finding I could not move at all. Silence was my answer. The pain stopped abruptly when I felt a coldness surround me. It was seeping in, invading my senses, wrapping around me, suffocating...suffocating...

Something warm brushed my hand. I tried to reach out to it. "Stay with me, Kagami," said a familiar voice. In my frozen daze, I made it out to be Konata.

"Konata? I-Is that you? You've got to help me. I don't know where I am. I can't move..." I struggled to stand up but could not leave my position. The possibility of Konata being there..somewhere...was reassuring that I could get out of this situation. After all, Konata and I had gotten out of many things before, always together. "Where are you?" I cried after an anxious silence. I could no longer hear Konata's voice. She was gone. The darkness began to close in around me. Realising that I was now completely alone made the darkness more ominous. Where exactly was I? Why couldn't I move?

I remained motionless and isolated in the darkness for what seemed like days. A torturous time where I could not move, I could not hear, I could not speak but simply had to lie and wait in the silence and the fear. Each breath I took became more panicked as I contemplated my fate. More than once I had an attack. The stress and the terror combined into one and no amount of screaming could calm me, no amount of air was enough. Everything became smaller and began to choke me. I fought to pull it away, but nothing was ever there. I still tried clawing to break free, only to find it was harder to breathe. Terror gripped me and squeezed tight, leaving me helpless until the panic attack subsided. The only thing that could bring me back to anywhere near normal was Konata. I had heard her voice. She was here somewhere and maybe she'd find me again.

During the night, or what I could assume to be the night, I drifted towards thoughts of my family. I wondered if I would ever see Inori or Matsuri, my parents or Tsukasa. I wondered if Tsukasa knew what had happened to me. Whilst in more optimistic moods, I would think that she and Konata were looking for me and dreamed of the day they would take me away from wherever I was now. I already ached to be apart from Tsukasa for so long. I knew that if I was missing for more than a few hours, she would become lost.

I tried to think of reasons for being in this chamber of darkness. I could not remember how I had come to be here, nor what had happened before I woke up. I was as clear about my situation as the atmosphere around me was. I began to search for my last memory when I felt something stir. The feeling of suffocation came back again and I found myself losing consciousness. The panic griped me again and I tried to reassure myself with thoughts of Konata rescuing me.

"I'm...I'm scared...Konata..."

I let myself fall back into another unknown place.

"Kagami," echoed a muffled voice. It sounded like it came from the end of a long tunnel. "Kagami," it sang. I opened my eyes to see Konata's face in mine. A moment passed where I did not realise what was going on. I blinked as the memory of darkness came back to me.

"Wha-!" I yelled, pulling away. I felt the softness of something underneath my hands. Carpet. I could move again. For the first time in ages I was truly happy to feel carpet again. I stretched my arms and stood up. I took a few steps forward and was delighted to find that I could move again. My time of jubilation was broken by Konata.

"Kagami, are you okay?" She looked puzzled, something rare for Konata.

"What happened to me?" I remembered my former situation and kneeled on the floor to ask Konata. "Where was I?"

"You fainted for a moment. I thought it had been from that new diet of yours. I swear, Kagami, you're going to put yourself into a lot of trouble one day." She reached for some Pocky sitting on her desk. "Have something, please." It was not like Konata to act like this. I wondered what caused her to behave so nicely.

I gratefully took the food. Being in a state of what I could only guess was unconsciousness, I did not eat at all. I felt myself drain away from the inaction but the offer of Pocky restored me. Finishing the food, I looked around. The room was adorned with anime figurines and posters. A large pile of manga rested beside a bed and next to a computer was an even larger collection of games. I was in Konata's room. Yet I could not remember how I had gotten there. I began to ask when Konata grabbed my hand and held it in her own. Her warmth was comforting. The fear I had in my unconscious state melted away. She was here now. Konata was here. I looked into her emerald green eyes, the eyes I had searched for in the darkness.

"You look distracted. Is everything okay? I still don't know why you passed out." I had never seen Konata so worried about me. I had never seen her so polite, either. Normally by now she would have made a joke or some reference to anime...but...nothing. She mentioned nothing about my weight or related anything to her Otaku culture. This was too strange.

"Why are you acting this way? I think I should be the one asking if you're alright."

"I just care about you, Kagami. I'm really worried."

I smiled. My hand slid out of hers. It was touching that we could finally talk honestly, without Konata's usual quirky interruptions. Though it was still unsettling.

"I'm awake now. Everything is fine. No need to worry about me."

"But...it's not okay," she said sorrowfully. What did Konata know that I didn't? Did I call out while I was unconscious?

I inched forward. Her eyes drifted towards the floor. I could see Konata searching for how to tell me something. Her eyes narrowed in thought. I placed a hand in front of her, gripping the carpet in some vain hope that it would help me accept what she had to say.

"W...What is it?" I trembled at the thought of bad news. But I had to hear it, whatever she had to say. It was the reason for her acting so strangely. I had to know what made Konata so concerned.

"You're not awake yet. You've got to wake up."

The words echoed through the room.

"Of...Of course I'm awake," I stuttered, trying to brush off Konata's eerie statement. My heart beat faster in fear of it being true. I was no longer in the limbo world I was before. There was no way I could still be unconscious. This was some joke. Konata was being weird to play a prank.

I reached out to place a hand on Konata's shoulder. She would usually reveal what was really going on when I made contact. I found it strange that her eyes did not move from me after she said I was not yet awake. Reaching her shoulder, I finally realised why. My hand slipped right through Konata and hit the floor.

I screamed and jumped back. My heart began to pound with fear. I hesitated to reach out again, to lay a shaky hand once more on Konata. It went through again, passing through my friend like she was silk. "What's going on?" I yelled. Perhaps I really was dreaming. Konata remained motionless, her eyes boring into me as she sat unblinking. I felt the world slipping away again. My body became light as I was drawn backwards.

"No!" I screamed desperately. I had finally found Konata. I wasn't going to let her fade away again so easily. I scampered forward on my hands and knees to reach Konata and hold her with me. My hands went through again. I frantically grasped at the air. Nothing. The room began to fade back into the darkness. Tears ran down my face as I made my last desperate efforts to hold on to Konata.

"Stay! Stay with me! It's so horrible back there. I don't want to leave. The only time I am alright is with you..."

Everything shattered into tiny fragments and fell away into the darkness. I was back where I was before. I could move now, but what good was it? I had nowhere to go. No one here with me. I was alone again and broken inside to have my dearest friend taken away before my eyes. My heart tore. To have something so important to me vanish...

I screamed at no one in particular. Shaking, I stood up. Every emotion was so overwhelming that the only thing I could do to calm down was to run. I took off into the darkness, never reaching anywhere but never stopping or looking back. Konata's last words echoed through my mind.

_I just care about you, Kagami..._

_You've got to wake up..._


	4. Panic

Author: For some strange reason, my first sentence of this story was honestly from my own life. I was going to put it in this introduction, but it gave me something to go off in the story. Sleepless nights do pay off!

The very important exams I mentioned before are going to be held for the rest of this month and the first weeks of November - do not expect any new chapters until they are over. But by then, I'll have days on end to write!

* * *

I think I have reached a point where I can't tell one day from another. I can't remember the time, I have no idea what date it is, let alone the week, month or season. Everything is suspended in this moment. I hardly notice what happens around me and in all truthfulness, only one thing is important now. I stare at the one person who means so much to me, still lying helpless on the hospital bed. I desperately want to save her – Kagami's face shows she is in great pain – but I have no way of reaching her. The most I can do is talk to her when we are alone.

"Remember," I said light heartedly, trying to lift the mood, "when I said you were like a rabbit?"

Kagami didn't move, but I hoped she could hear me. I had abandoned my joking facade and was being honest with her. If she were to let go, I wanted to at least tell her what I really thought.

"I don't really think that. You might get lonely sometimes, but you're still strong. You're a lion; you can stand on your own and fight to the very end...like now. Even now you're fighting to stay alive."

A faint knock sounded at the door. Tsukasa, her sisters and her parents entered the small room. They had left to speak with the doctor about Kagami's situation. She was in line for multiple surgeries. Inori entered the room last as she was still speaking to the doctor. I could hear him mutter about internal bleeding and punctured organs. I grasped the side of my chair in panic. Even minor surgery could have disastrous results if something went wrong. Multiple surgery only increased this chance, and Kagami had so much which needed to be healed.

Kagami's family sat around her bed. The room was crowded with so many people, but I dared not to leave. I had already caused enough grief. If something were to happen to Kagami while I was gone, I would not be able to handle the guilt. Tsukasa left regularly with Matsuri to get food and drink for everyone. Even though I seemed to be part of the background, I was given food and was able to stay by Kagami's side for the entire night without having to leave.

During the late hours of the night, Tsukasa came to nestle by my side. I was still her source of comfort and she was slowly becoming mine. I could not lose both friends. As the hours ticked by, I found myself sinking into Tsukasa's warmth. With this I began to drift into my dreams.

I awoke to faint sounds of metal bars against more metal. I peered out from a mess of Tsukasa's hair to find hospital staff lifting Kagami onto another bed.

"What's going on? What are you doing with her?" I said frantically, forgetting what I heard last night. I tried to move, but I could not get up without waking Tsukasa, who was blissfully asleep across my arms and stomach.

"It's time for this young girl's operation," said one of the nurses as she lifted Kagami's legs. The Hiiragi family, I assumed, had left to wait outside the operation room. Only Tsukasa had stayed behind.

"Operation? Does she really have to do this? Can't you just -"

"She's been through a lot," interjected the nurse. "So have you. Go home and have a proper rest, eat something, try to relax a little. Come back when the surgery is over – she'll still be here." Although the nurse spoke in a polite and calm voice, I could not help but think she saw me as a nuisance. This was some way to get rid of me.

"I...have to stay." I was expecting an argument, but the nurse simply smiled sympathetically. As the nurses took Kagami away, the one who spoke to me lingered at the door. "If a doctor speaks to you, keep insisting that you're related to your friend here. Visitors aren't allowed to stay as long as you have unless they are family."

I tried to keep my composure, but inside I froze. I had been pretending that I was Kagami's younger sister. Her family didn't know as they were too preoccupied with grief to notice my presence much. It was inevitable that someone would notice, but I didn't think that they would force me away from Kagami if they knew. I suddenly had something more to worry about.

I spent half an hour pined under Tsukasa, trying to devise an explanation if a doctor approached me. I longed to sit outside the operation room, but I couldn't move without waking Tsukasa. I resolved to let her spend more time in her sweet repose. In the middle of creating a false history for myself, the door creaked open.

"Hiiragi?" inquired a voice from the door. Tufts of dark brown hair peered from behind the door. Golden yellow eyes surveyed the room and its contents until Misao finally stepped in. "Chibikko... Imoto...Where's Hiiragi?"

Tsukasa moved slightly into a more comfortable position for herself. I was now lying uncomfortably beneath. One of her hands hung loosely to my side but the other was rested on the inside of my thigh. It wasn't in a dangerous area, but I had to prevent any further movement in case her hand made its way upwards.

"She's having surgery. There is a lot of damage," I managed to mutter from underneath Tsukasa. She shifted her head slightly so that now her slow breaths moved a small piece of her hair against my neck, tickling me. Each time Tsukasa exhaled, I had to stop myself from giggling. I didn't want to wake her up just yet and any movement from me might end up creating an awkward situation. It was a challenging task. "Do you mind helping me here?"

Misao looked back outside, to someone standing by the doorway. After a few words, she moved to help me when Miyuki entered. Miyuki's light pink hair moved gently in the breeze she created by closing the door. I was glad to see some familiar faces again in all this confusion. Miyuki's presence was always very calming and I relaxed despite the circumstances. I wondered where Ayano was since Misao was here. My thoughts were sidetracked by a quiet sigh beside me.

Misao didn't know quite how to approach removing Tsukasa. She didn't wish to wake her which was no surprise as Tsukasa looked so peaceful in her sleep. Miyuki offered to help. Softly, she woke Tsukasa and managed to slide her off me. The relief in weight was welcome. I breathed a thankful sigh that nothing had happened.

"Konata-san," said Miyuki sympathetically as she sat Tsukasa down in another chair. "You look very tired. Perhaps you should go outside and clean up. Have breakfast. I'll look after Tsukasa and notify you if anything happens with Kagami."

I was very grateful for the kindness. No matter the situation, Miyuki kept her composure and seemed to bring a calmness with her. I decided that I couldn't do anything whilst Kagami was in surgery. Perhaps washing away the previous day's events would help me and, in turn, aid Kagami should she need my support. I thanked Miyuki and Misao and left the hospital room.

The corridors were lightly paved in aqua tiles which contrasted with my red sneakers. Looking up, I saw the walls were a clinical white, sometimes covered with medical posters detailing illnesses or common procedures. A few of the rooms had their doors open and I was able to see other patients. One room was adorned with flowers as a large family sat around a man propped against a pillow. A few doors down, a child was reading manga in bed, a cast attached to his left leg. I was suddenly reminded of the lifestyle I promised to give up in order for Kagami to live.

I was surprised at how many hours had passed without my usual thoughts of anime and games. I had not quoted any character, had not adapted a situation to an anime show, I didn't even think about everything I had at home. The usual routine meant nothing if I didn't have Kagami. My other friends were important to me as well, but for some reason I felt strongly about Kagami. I worried about her health when she refused to eat, I would try to cheer her up when she was depressed. We had only been friends for a few years, but that time was precious. I really felt a connection with her.

I silently wondered if Kagami felt the same.

Sometimes I lost myself in her deep blue eyes, later trying to remember what I was thinking of. She surprised me occasionally with kindness. It was at those times when I saw the real Kagami. She cared about me just as much as I did her. _She must have felt the same_, I argued. It was that which made her jump in front of the car to save me. I only wished I could help her now.

A splash of cold water on my face finally woke me up after a night of troubled sleep. I rubbed my eyes and tried to tidy my long, blue hair. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I saw my troubled expression reflected back at me. _She'll be alright_ I told myself _she'll pull through_.

I ate a sandwich from a vending machine in the reception area of the hospital. Even though it was early in the morning, people passed in and out of the front doors incessantly. It seemed that every hour was the peak hour in the hospital. I tried to enjoy the last bites of my breakfast on my way back to Kagami's room. A sudden sense told me that something was wrong. It was the same feeling I had the moment Kagami was hit by the car. My hands clenched and I could feel my heart against my chest. A fear bound me from behind and I was paralyzed with cold until three voices cried out from the end of the corridor.

"Konata!"

Their panic broke the hold of the feeling and I escaped the chains of coldness to meet Miyuki, Misao and Tsukasa. Their faces told me most of what I needed to know. The sense of alarm returned as I ran to the operating wing of the hospital. The large group of Kagami's family sitting on benches told me where she was. They looked up at me, and then to the door – their faces reflecting the same fear I had in my eyes.

"What happened?" I chocked from a now dry mouth.

No one answered and my heartbeat grew silent as I heard what no one ever wants to hear. The sign that everything which had already occurred had now become worse. I gripped the wall for support but collapsed on the floor.

A monotone note sounded from behind the door. Flatline.


	5. Despiration and Consolation

**Disclaimer**: Lucky Star is the intellectual property of Kagami Yoshimizu.

* * *

A gentle embrace lifted my empty body from the floor. Soft hands supported me and guided me back to the main wing of the hospital, where I was seated on a plastic chair. The sounds of doctors and nurses desperately trying to revive Kagami echoed through the corridors. I was taken into a hug which attempted to reassure me that things would be okay. It was calming and warm, expressing so much love in one gesture. I was reminded, for a moment, of my mother's own embrace. The unsteady beeps of the heart monitor from the direction of the operating wing reminded me that no such comfort existed anymore.

I was completely absorbed in my worry. Words could not nearly describe my agony. I blamed myself for the pain and torture I was putting Kagami and her family through. She acted to save me. It was the car who hurt her, but my lack of attention that caused the accident. The fact that I was so attached to her only tore my heart more to hear she had died once in the operating theatre. I shut myself away in a chamber within my mind. I could not risk my interference causing any more harm.

A sweet perfume – a bouquet of sophisticated flowers – wafted down to reach me in my crumpled position. I remembered that I remained in the arms of an unknown person for hours. She (as I assumed from the perfume) had not let go of me; providing continual yet silent comfort in a time I needed it most. I shifted my position against a warm cotton jumper. My hazy eyes tried to focus as I peered at my comforter. Miyuki brushed away some of her long, pink hair to see me properly.

I looked up; my eyes conveying all the fears and doubts I could not express in words. Miyuki attempted to resolve my concerns with another hug. It was strange to see her break her usual proper code of manner. I attributed it to the incident – no one, not even me, was acting the way they usually did. It was calming to just sit there with Miyuki. Without words, she supported me through what I could easily say was the hardest and most terrifying time in my life. If I were alone I doubt I would have taken it as well as I did. I suddenly realised, despite her cute and polite personality, Miyuki was a loyal and deeply considerate friend.

In the only words I would hear her say that week, Miyuki consoled me. Her words remained formal and polite. "Konata-chan, it is indeed a difficult time, but I am confidant Kagami-san will recover. Normally I would know this from proper research, but this time I just feel it." Miyuki hesitated. "I know that sounds a little-"

"Yuki-chan," I whispered behind renewed tears, "I know how you feel. I...I think she'll be okay, too." I wasn't ready to let go yet, so I continued to hold onto Miyuki. It was only until the sun began to set that I left her embrace. Not once after did she say a word; she knew how much it meant to me.

Kagami's family remained devoted to her recovery, even after she was revived and attached to a life support machine. They prayed together and never allowed one member to leave. Tsukasa, her sisters and her parents traveled about the hospital in their large group, but still spent the majority of their time with Kagami. Although Tsukasa believed I had no part in the accident, I felt that the rest of the Hiiragi family resented me. Perhaps they blamed me, if only slightly, for the event. I knew Kagami's father believed that if something is going to happen it will occur regardless of the circumstances, but his glances at me were unnerving. I saw a change in his eyes, one which he did not show to his family.

I remained by Kagami's side for another night which soon became another day. It was a cruel torture to know I was healthy while she was in such pain. I counted the breaths the machine helped her make, each tone of the heart rate monitor. Every time the note faded I held my breath until I heard it again. Soon it just became me, Kagami and that sound that signified life or death. I pleaded for her to wake up. I begged for some sign of life. Yet the machine maintained its monotonous pace. Nothing stirred. Kagami remained in her position, face more relaxed than before but a small frown across her lips.

A growl stirred in my stomach. I suddenly realised how I had neglected myself over the past two days. The sequence of events which occurred only 30 hours ago seemed like only one moment. I reflected on the magnitude of everything that had happened and shuddered at the thought of things that might come. I had delved deeper into my mind over the past days to try and make sense of everything. I only found confusion and sadness, even though it sometimes served as an escape from the harsh reality. Either immersed in my musings or sitting faithfully watching Kagami, I had ignored basic things such as eating. I had gone to the bathroom a few times, but always rushed back in case something happened. I did not want a repeat of last time when I left Kagami's side.

My stomach pleading for food brought me back from my thoughts. I made my way to the edge of Kagami's bed. Her family had left briefly to have breakfast. I was absorbed in my world, emerging often to check on Kagami but little else. I was not surprised that I had completely missed everyone leaving. I held her hand loosely to try and establish some contact – talking simply was not close enough.

"I'm going to get breakfast, okay? I won't be gone for very long, I just need something to eat before they have to put me in a hospital bed as well." Smiling, I brushed my thumb over the back of her hand as a sign of affection. I felt something wrapped around her wrist. A hospital tag. I sighed. Lingering at the door, I hesitated to leave her alone. I imagined she was calling out for me and I had left her behind. My newly revived sensibility argued that I had to leave as I couldn't function for much longer without food. I gave in and shut the door quietly.

My pace quickened as I already hurried to return to Kagami despite only just closing the door. My soft tap of rubber shoes on the floor echoed through the empty hallway but was soon joined by a stronger beat of hard souls on the tiles. I glanced sideways to a half-eyed doctor sleepily gazing over a clipboard of patient documents. He entered a room to my right and closed the door. As I turned to corner, I bumped into yet another doctor – this one more alert and perceivably annoyed.

"Excuse me, I – ah," The doctor said. There was a tone of realisation in amidst his annoyance. I looked up to see what he noticed. A determined set of brown eyes examined me. "I was looking for you," he smiled. I took a step back to see him fully.

"What exactly do you need, doctor?" I asked, trying to remain calm. I didn't want to seem too rushed to return to Kagami. I would look suspicious and may get thrown out.

"We know what you've been doing. I realise you must be very close to your friend, but it's against the hospital rules. We can't let anyone stay in here if they're not family; everyone would crowd the already small rooms and interfere with hospital safety." The doctor's words caused me to shiver, but I tried to maintain my composure. I had to convince him I was family.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Of course I'm in Kagami's family. I'm her close cousin. I even live with the Hiiragis." My heart began to beat faster. I was discovered. I had to put all my energy into making up a story about myself. I began to feel faint but I pushed this aside in light of the more important matter before me.

"You were not identified as part of the Hiiragis. Your friend's sister tried to protect you when she discovered that you might be sent away from the hospital. But by that time I had already found out you were not of their family." The doctor's cold statements renewed the shivers in my body. I felt weak. They were going to take me away. I had only one option.

"I'm not going to make this easy. Kagami means too much for me to give up without fighting." With these words I ran past the doctor towards the entrance to the next wing of the hospital. I could hear him sigh behind me and call someone for help. For the first time my athletic skills actually had a use. I dodged nurses and unsuspecting doctors in the halls, desperately trying to escape. I heard my pursuers running behind me, each footstep pounding into the ground where mine only touched it lightly.

I turned so many corners that I had become dizzy. The exercise which I was now putting myself through brought back the feelings of hunger. With little to no energy feeding me, I ran on determination for ten minutes. I tried to weave between seats and potted plants to confuse the now bigger group that was chasing me. I neared Kagami's room, heavily panting and slowing to a jog. I could barely get enough air to breathe and my head seemed to be floating away. My legs begged to stop as my vision became hazy.

I rounded the corner to Kagami's room. A nurse appeared from the end of the hall and advanced towards me. She never caught me though. No one did. I fainted before anyone could grab me.

Another pair of warm arms held me as I tried to open my eyes. I fought against the tiredness that held them shut but lost. I heard the quiet sounds of traffic before I completely retreated to sleep.

A muffled noise from somewhere above my head brought me back to consciousness. The high pitched voice seemed to come from behind a wall. I shifted my position and found myself to be lying down in total darkness. I was on a bed and was covered in loose sheets. I began to panic as memories of being chased and Kagami lying in hospital returned. I hastily pushed to covers off and stood to search for a light. There was something familiar about the feel of the carpet. I almost instinctively reached out to find the light switch.

A moment of blindness as I flicked on the light. I put my hands over my eyes until they adjusted. When I took in the room, all I could do was stare in disbelief. Manga, games, posters, figurines. It was my room. I had been brought home.


	6. Once More

_Fear is the mind-killer...I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me... And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain._

A murmur of voices occasionally penetrated the silence. Every time I could hear something faint, I paused and strained to listen. A few times I managed to hear people talking. There was a tone in the background, sounding in time with my heart. Nothing had made sense until...until...

I had felt her there; beside me. Hers was a presence I knew well. After the dream, after the running, I rested. As I calmed down I began to have an awareness of people around me. I frantically tried to find them, but I was continually faced with the same blank expanse. I started to think that I was living in-between worlds. As ridiculous as that sounded, it was the only logical explanation for where I was. As I spent time and calmed down, I could hear voices and sense other people around me. The first one I recognised was Konata. I was overjoyed that she found me but frustrated that I couldn't reach out to her. I could feel her sit beside me as someone moved in front.

Faint tugs at my arms and a slight pressure on my back, despite that I was standing, told me that in the other world – as I recognised it – I was lying down. There was a soft warmth around me which signalled it was a bed. I began to panic as I wondered where I was. Not much in the way of speech was making its way through to me. I was unconscious, by now I knew that, but I was clueless as to where I was. I relied on Konata saying something but she was unusually silent. My heart beat began to race again as another panic attack took over me. This one, however, was broken by a movement from my right.

The room became empty as far as I knew except for one person. I heard the shift in a chair and the quiet tapping of shoes on the floor. Konata was coming over to me. I hoped that she would tell me what had happened. After a confusing nightmare and being stuck in a strange world, I wanted to make sense of the situation. Anything would do, too, but Konata remained silent. This in itself was worrying. I wondered if it was that same concern which made her act so strangely in my dream. Of course, it was stupid of me to think that. As if that dream was anything related to reality.

I could feel her lay down on the side of the bed. I desperately wanted someone to be with me and Konata gave me the closest thing possible. I would have been happy to sense her lie there for hours, but it seems she had other plans. A warmth edged closer. I tried to hear what was going on, but there was only the faint sounds of fabric moving. I could feel her presence come nearer, the space between us becoming gradually shorter. My heart beat faster with anxiety of what was going to happen. I dreaded the news she had to tell me.

"Kagami, please, _please_ be alright." Konata desperately whispered. In that tone she told me exactly how bad things were. My mind began to ask a thousand frantic questions until I could suddenly feel an electric sensation. It took a moment to register what was happening. A slow warmth came over me and lifted my spirits from their shattered state.

_K-Konata? What's going...oh... _I could feel myself blush. Konata was...she was... A strange feeling came over me and I felt a sensation spread from my lips. All of a sudden I wanted to put my arms around her and draw her closer. For the first time Konata gave me something positive which no teasing could take away. It took over me and I began to feel lighter and lighter, enveloped by a gentle softness. In the darkness came this feeling and I never wanted to let it escape. I cursed at the fact I could not move.

The longer it lasted, the longer I realised exactly what was going on. The initial excitement calmed, if only slightly, so that my logical mind could find its way in. Why exactly was Konata doing this? Maybe she felt we should be more than friends. There were a few times when I thought about it, but...it wasn't right. I'd be betraying my family, my beliefs...So why did I feel this way? There was the usual affection I had towards my friend, yet I wanted to be closer.

Konata pulled away and took the warmth with her. I tried to reach out, but whatever I did in the world of darkness didn't happen in my conscious world. All I was left with now were my thoughts. The question I posed before brought itself back. As there was nothing more I could do, I lingered on what had occurred only seconds before.

I must have felt what I did for Konata as I was safe with her. It seemed that she always had the solution to everything and although she viewed the world through unique eyes, her plans never failed. Even in times where we were in danger, with Konata we pulled through. That's what I must have felt with her; security. Lo...liking someone was different. I had managed to argue away most of the strange feelings that arose from the kiss. It wasn't normal to think of Konata in any other way than as a friend.

Yet my heart kept beating stronger and I found myself trying to relive the moment that passed only a few seconds ago.

The time I spent in the unconscious world ticked on in agonising seconds. There was no way to tell how moments passed and Konata's presence seldom disappeared. Either time as I thought didn't pass as long or Konata was staying faithfully by my side. I praised her endurance and felt a new wave of respect. This also brought a great unease. What had happened to me must have been serious to result in this reaction from Konata. I remained on the edge of worry and panic. I had to know what was going on, for my own sanity! Maybe then I could help.

There was no sound or movement for a while. I was in a state of rest although not fully asleep. The true torture of this world lied in the fact I didn't need to sleep. I couldn't escape anything as I was already unconscious. The only thing which broke the monotony of this world were the occasional movements or words from the conscious world. However this time, I wished I had heard nothing.

The words tore through the dark expanse and latched on to my body until I was consumed by shock. Accident. Hospital. Operation. The words held an imperative tone that I could not deny. In a few brief sentences, I was told where I was, why and what was going to happen to me. I was immediately seized by rapid questions of which I could not answer. Although I had information to fill in a lot of my past few experiences, it was still not enough. Despite the horror of my situation I wanted to know more.

I couldn't grasp how I did not realise where I was before, why all the tiny fragments didn't fit together until I had heard nurses talking. They didn't tell me what the 'accident' was exactly, but the fact I was unconscious for a long period of time and couldn't wake up told me it was serious. Before I could fully react, I was taken away. The people who surrounded me were unfamiliar and where I was heading was foreign to me. It was getting cold. Konata was slipping away. I didn't reach out to her any more, I knew it was useless. I began to absorb myself in my worries.

Something was pressed against my face. It felt like a plastic cup, but it had a softness to it. With each passing moment, I became drowsy. What exactly was happening? I almost screamed the question from my anger. The constant lack of explanations frustrated me. It didn't last very long, though. The familiar sensation of falling backwards returned. As much as I tried to fight it, I couldn't resist letting go of my worries and slipping into my dreams once more.

_No more nightmares. I can't take this. All this gloom is overwhelming..._

Something was coming onto focus. A blur of green, grey and blue. I blinked. A shopping centre came into focus. There were people walking into a number of stores, all decorated with cardboard cut-out characters and banners advertising the latest goods. A small, blue-haired girl was skipping happily in front of me, hands full of colourful bags.

"Did you really have to buy them in Kyoto?" Came a voice that resounded in my head. I moved, but my sight was forced onto the girl in front of me. The situation was vaguely familiar, like a memory.

The girl my sight was following turned around. Shining green eyes looked back to mine. "Ah, Kagamin, you still don't understand the passion of the otaku. It's more than just a novelty," there was a pause for dramatic effect. "It is a duty!"

"Why can't you put this much passion into your studies?" The voice groaned. I remembered where this was; our school excursion to Nara and Kyoto. As much as I wanted to exclaim how happy I was to be amongst friends again, I couldn't move. It was a memory which I couldn't alter. I sat back in my mind to watch what was happening once more. After the horrible night I had, this was the morning that I cherished; the morning that wiped away my depressed mood.

"Onee-chan, look – a photo booth!" Came Tsukasa's excited squeak from my right. The sudden outburst noticeably inspired Konata, who ran ahead of us.

"Come on, guys! Let's take a picture to celebrate our friendship!"

"My, that does sound like fun," came Miyuki's voice from my left. As we shuffled into the booth, Konata immediately began pressing buttons. Her face showed a great amount of concentration, which was normally more dedicated to a task involving games.

"English letters," she muttered.

"Want me to help?" I snickered. It was exactly like Konata to not pay attention in English.

"No, no. I got it," said Konata as she began to type out the message 'We love Kagame'. I recognised the second word immediately but was too rushed to notice the spelling of my name.

"What? That's embarrassing!" Despite the horrible evening I had the previous night, this morning Konata was trying her best to cheer me up. I appreciated it greatly, but knew I had to keep up my usual defiance of public affection so it looked like I had returned to my normal mood.

"Don't worry about it! It's a memory of our day together," exclaimed Konata as she grabbed me for a hug. She was always so warming and comfortable, I couldn't help but edge closer to her.

"Onee-chan, let's take it together," said Tsukasa from behind.

"It's to commemorate our trip, after all," reassured Miyuki. It was touching that they all realised my mood and were working to cheer me up. The screen in front of us counted down and flashed to take the picture. After it had printed, we began to make our way to the bus home.

As luck would have it that day, Konata had spelt my name wrong. For some reason I found it cute that, upon returning the picture to me, Konata had crossed out the 'e' and added an 'i' in an almost perfect imitation of the font, explaining how the booth didn't have a delete button. We had to separate for our different buses, so I couldn't argue for long. As I began to leave, telling Tsukasa where to meet me when she got off, I heard someone run up behind me. Before I could turn around, small arms wrapped around my waist as Konata pulled me in for a hug.

"Don't get too lonely without me!" she said, burying her face into my back.

"It'll be a relief not to have to deal with you. Maybe I'll be able to get some sleep," I replied, knowing I would give anything to sit with her on the ride home. Konata loosened her grip.

"I know you so well, you don't even have to say it," were her mystic words as she walked away. "I'll miss you, too." I watched as the mass of blue hair stepped onto the bus.

I looked down at the picture in my hands. The happiness I felt with my friends radiated through a small yet sincere smile on my face. They were so dear to me.

For the second time that day, I smiled genuinely.

The photo began to waver in my hands. My vision flickered for a moment. I felt weaker as I stumbled forward, my head spinning. The memory of my last school trip began to seep away. Trees melted, the bus vaporised, the blue sky faded to an ominous black. Such a moment of happiness was being taken away yet again. My efforts to try and stay in it were defeated. I collapsed onto the cold, hard floor of my unconscious prison.

"What's happening?" I screamed. "Why is this going on? Couldn't you let me cherish one happy memory for a bit longer?" There was no answer, as always; just the now familiar sensation of being pulled backwards. This time though, it was a lot harsher. I writhed on the floor, trying to shake this feeling. The realisation of what had happened to me returned. Was it the operation that was causing me to feel like this?

Things were getting fainter. The sharp pains were subsiding, but I was too weak to get up. I felt like sleeping even though I knew in this world it was impossible. It was too exhausting to move, so I lied limply on the ground. I let the darkness envelope me. I relaxed, but suddenly felt like I was being lifted. A gentle pair of arms picked me up and took me in for an embrace.

Through my eyelids I could see light forming. I was too tired to open them. At first it was a pale cream light and it seemed to shift in blobs. It came closer and closer, almost blinding me. It shifted from yellow to a piercing white. It was close, too close. I had to know what it was. I fought to see what was happening around me.

There was a blur of white light. I blinked in a daze, attempting to regain my sight. I stared at the white for several minutes before I made out simple objects. A light bulb, barely encircled by a shade dangled from the space above me. The ceiling came into focus next. It almost matched the whiteness of the light cover, having had a certain dullness to it. Flakes of paint peeled away from the aging cement beneath. Nothing else – save a wispy grey spider web every now and then – could be seen. I noticed that my body ached. Whether this was from tiredness or pain I had experienced just moments before I couldn't tell. My efforts to turn my head to take in the rest of my new world were in vain. I was too exhausted to move.

Loud shouts reached me from somewhere beyond where I lay and broke the confusion I felt by being confronted with this new place. It sounded like a small group of older men were shouting after someone. The heavy slapping of one surface on another told me they were also running. I savoured the sounds of voices other than my own, no matter how distant and angry they seemed. I had longed for any company in my isolation and even the prospect of having people near me inspired happiness. I closed my eyes. The fear of drifting back into my world of nightmares dissolving as I continued to hear what was occurring around me.

A much lighter sound of frantic feet came closer as I opened my eyes in expectation of someone approaching me. I couldn't yet see anyone, but I knew they were closer than before. A muffled panting noise told me I was in a room with the door shut. There was something in those faint whimpers for air that I recognised. A whisper gave away their identity even though it could have been a stranger.

"I can't leave her." The words resounded in my head. For a moment, I was thrilled to know Konata was near me. That it was actually her and not some dream. Then again, it could have been another illusion. The only thing that was different here was I could smell in this world. Going off that, it was indeed a hospital and not the blank world. Happiness was soon replaced with anxiety as I heard Konata collapse onto a hard floor. The rapid footsteps of the angry people became louder as they found her unconscious form.

_Konata?_ I called, but could only form words in my mind. My current state left me solely with the ability to blink. Speech was gurgled at best, leaving me to make gasps or groaning noises as my most coherent sentences. _K-Konata?_ I called again, abandoning my attempts to speak out loud but naively hoping she could hear me all the same. Feet shuffled on the floor as strong murmurs ordered the bystanders. I tried to reach out to help Konata, but could not move my arm in the slightest. Though I didn't really know where she was, I silently wished for Konata to stay. The receding taps on the ground told me people were leaving, most probably with Konata in their arms.

Overcome by grief at losing Konata yet again and incredible fatigue, I slipped back into sleep. Among one of my many wishes, I hoped that I would wake up in the same world again. Maybe then I'd find Konata. Only then...could I ask her...

"Kagami?"

I could ask her about...

"Hey, I think she moved!"

...why...

* * *

Author: There are so many things I'd like to say. I could probably fill a page with everything, but there are only a few things you as readers might want to know. It's really hard to write from a perspective of someone who, essentially, experiences death. I haven't had this experience, so I can only imagine. I have tried not to make any religious references in this chapter. The light and the arms I describe are intended to be things from Kagami's conscious world. The light being from her hospital room (and the corridors) and the arms are the doctors and nurses. As she is confused and unaware of what is going on around her, it was the best way I could phrase those paragraphs.

I really do enjoy reading the reviews I receive. Mikeru-D writes the best summaries for each chapter.

The quote from the top of this page...I wonder if anyone knows which Science Fiction book this has come from?


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